My mom just sent this to me... and my grandma... -facepalmgiggle-


One morning, the husband returns the boat to their lakeside cottage after several hours of fishing and decides to take a nap.
Although not familiar with the lake, the wife decides to take the boat out.
She motors out a short distance, anchors, puts her feet up, and begins to read her book.
The peace and solitude are magnificent.
Along comes a Fish and Game Warden in his boat.
He pulls up alongside the woman and says,
'Good morning, Ma'am. What are you doing?'
'Reading a book,' she replies, (thinking, 'Isn't that obvious?')
'You're in a Restricted Fishing Area,' he informs her.
'I'm sorry, officer, but I'm not fishing. I'm reading.'
'Yes, but I see you have all the equipment. For all I know you could start at any moment. I'll have to take you in and write you up.'
'If you do that, I'll have to charge you with sexual assault ,' says the woman.
'But I haven't even touched you,' says the Game Warden.
'That's true, but you have all the equipment. For all I know you could start at any moment.'
'Have a nice day ma'am,' and he left.

MORAL: Never argue with a woman who reads. It's likely she can also think.

Today I learned the brilliance of "Bar Keeper's Friend." If anyone doesn't know what it is, it's only the most completely brilliant cleaner there is, and it's super cheap--like $2 cheap.

It not only gets rid of rust and grim and nasty on any and every surface from copper to tile to porcelain, etc. It completely destroys grease in the kitchen which is brilliant considering there's a lovely gas stove (huzzah!) in our kitchen, no vent up top, and the people who lived here before us didn't keep a very strict house cleaning regimine. Translation: there was dirt and sticky stuff EVERYWHERE.

But magically with a little water, hardly any scrubbing--I'd call it wiping--and Bar Keeper's Friend, it disappeared! -is sold-

Oh, and I found the following highly amusing.

Once upon a time we went grocery shopping so we wouldn't starve. That included buying eggs. As everyone knows when you purchase a carton of eggs, you open it to check that none of the eggs are broken so you can get all of your eggs non-cracked, non-broken, and whatever else you look for in a carton of eggs.

Supplemental Picture #1:



It's a carton of eggs.

Supplemental Picture #2:



The eggs are all stamped!!! I about died with I saw it.

Supplemental picture #3:



Observe the intricacy of each stamp.

Now I'm so glad to know that my money is going to a good cause, to individually stamp each egg. Does that mean we no longer need to open the carton to check for whatever people check for when they open cartons?

I also wonder, if these eggs were the cheapest eggs in an 18-egg carton (and they were) then what are all the other egg companies doing? Are they skimping on the egg stamp? Is there are reason not everyone stamps their eggs? That or their vegetarian-fed chickens lay stamped eggs...

I was honestly delighted to discover it. I've never seen that before.

/experience

 -gasp-

I completely forgot. When we went downstairs, I walked past the mailboxes and saw one of our neighbors. I stopped and pointed it out to Brandon whose eyes grew wide and gasped as well.

Look at our building neighbors in apartment 4E:






O.O

A smallish picspam complete with updates and a few new surprises...

( I introduce you to our two new additions: )

/update on my life and my current family

ETA: And I'm so sorry for the lack of commenting/responding. i do pay attention. -sad face- And I miss you on AIM. The end.

I have officially been married to my b2 for two years.

-beams-

I moved out here July 2 thinking I would find a house and be happy.

That didn't work.

Now we're looking for apartments.

I'm not telling anyone we've found a place anymore until we've actually moved in and have the key in our hands.

We still don't have a place to live.

-sigh-

Marie said I should post so she can read something about me. Actually she told me to post about the car theories I have.

Story:

So I commute 2 hours a day to work, then 1.5 hours to my other work, then 2-2.5 hours home every day. It's awful. I've learned to sleep on trains. And I've learned to walk/run really fast to cut the time down by 20 minutes occasionally. But still a pain.

The other day, one of my bosses looked at me and said, "You know, I have an extra car at my house. Would you like to drive it until yours comes up here?"

Seriously? Yes. Absolutely. Because she's not charging me a lease or anything, just letting me drive it.

I didn't think it would happen for reals, but today at work she said, "Here's the key. Here's $40 for gas. Now you don't have to worry about trains and you can get home safer and faster."

My jaw dropped. I couldn't believe it. Hoorah.

However, there is this theory #1. Perhaps it's really a drug dealing car and it's something highly illegal that she's passing along to a naive person such as me.

Once I got in the car, I highly doubted it. Why? Because there was bird dropping residue all over it. She apologized for the smell. Apparently her boyfriend has birds and borrowed the car and didn't clean it out. I drive a poop car. Today I drove home with the windows down.

Then my darling b2 saved the day and found a vacuum and cleaned it out. He's amazing. But I think the car shall forever be referred to as the poop car in my mind...

But, fantastically enough, I got home in less than an hour tonight. -smiles- Yes. Perhaps life will slow down a bit for me one day.

I have no idea how I can't find this on the internet, but I need your help.

I need to find my husband the link to the Oak Express commercials.

There's a whole series of them, and they're fantabulous and funny. But they don't exist? That's impossible. Everything exists.

So, if you know of the commercials, I would love a link.

If you don't know the commercials, they're the ones with the tagline:

"That's not natural... but Oak Express is!"

-dies laughing-

It's absolutely hilarious and I say that all the time, and b2 never understands why it's awesome. The end. Help!

Went to the store, bought some nail polish...

Come home, read it and discover its label:









O RLY?

So... I took that best thing test. Knew the answer that I'd get. Here it is... voila.

Your result for The Best Thing About You Test...

Passion

Hot! Passion is your greatest virtue

Take The Best Thing About You Test at HelloQuizzy

Hoorah! I'm back from China!!! :D It was lovely and a blast and I had so much fun, yes. The important thing is that i'm back and shall post more about that latro, but am attempting to move.

However, I'm still not exactly awake... I think Marie came to visit me yesterday... But there's very little memory of that. :( Apparently I was tired.

Anyways, hoorah for being back, and I shall post again after I've perused your lives...

-giggles-

Look at this:





-shakes head-

Oh, Mario...

So... we're in New York. B2 and I. And it is so wet and rainy and windy and freezing, freezing cold. Seriously.

And we're supposed to move here?

Okay, I must confess, I absolutely love the city and the life and everything about it. It just wasn't supposed to be pouring wet so that before we even got on the train my feet through my shoes and socks were sopping wet and my jeans still haven't dried.

But it was fun.

But if it seriously wants to rain forever, I'll have issues. Or at least insist on paying ridiculous rent so we live closer in the city. >.> Right next to a subway entrance. <.< Yes. That would be most excellent.

-hugs to friends-

Yay!Nice airline lady!

She's the nicest person ever for an airplane I bet. She was just lovely. Fixed everything. No extra charges. And now Shanae doesn't get home late at night with nothing to do.

Yay! :D

-dances-

Stupid internet. Stupid airlines. Stupid me for accidentally clicking the stupid wrong button and not realizing it until after I'd paid and confirmed the flight.

And now to change it I'll have to pay $100.

And now I'll get home at 11 PM instead of 1 PM. And that means I can't teach that night, so I'm making even less money and spending way more money that we don't have. AND I'll have nothing to do all day and no money to spend and very bitter sad am I right now.

AGH!

WHY did I have to push the wrong button!?!?!

Apparently I missed the deadline. The deadline for transfer/visiting students is April 1. That was 14 days ago. -cries-

Hopefully someone can work magical things and let me go to school anyways. My dance advisor is calling them and will let me know as soon as she can. :(

I do hope things work out. I was so insanely excited.

Just talked to my advisor. I can totally finish my dance degree (and not just a general degree) if I go to Columbia University!!! :D

They have the most exciting classes I can use to finish my dance electives and take credits, and it will just be brilliant. I'm so happy. And they even have a ballroom team. It might not be the best, but I can at least check it out.

But the coolest thing? I'll be dancing in New York!!!

Yes... just a little bit excited.

See icon. 

Marie found this and told me I needed it.

Unfortunately, it's so completely true.

Yes. I am on a deadline. Not so much for a paper right now as for a test I have to take at 10am tomorrow morning that's all essay. Yes. Not regular essay though. Compilation of historical facts--as many facts as you can squeeze into each sentence. No essay stuff. That will get you a C. I would know. tried that last time.

Gr.

I am so screwed.

Woke up this morning, awake and ready to wear green.

Realized I have no green clothing items. That's a lie I have a green long sleeved shirt that I can't wear in the winter/when I have no sun on me because Marie says it makes me look pale/sick. And I have a gorgeous green slinky thing that I got when I had a bigger chest than I currently do, so it falls off becoming even more skanky and innappropriate for public attire.

So, cardinal sin, I know, for not having anything green to wear ever, but, I suppose I'm okay because my eyes are green. Right?

On to the insane amount of homework piled next to me. It should seriously be illegal to have a test in every class in the same week. What's the probability of that?